Journal October 2026 Special DISPUK Release_Full Version - Flipbook - Page 8
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Our conversation made me think of many of the young people I have
spoken with over the years who have experienced bullying. I often
think that if you want to find a best friend, you should find someone
who has been bullied, because in my experience they have learned
the hard way what not to do to others—they know firsthand how
much it can hurt. I wonder if you can relate to that.
I believe that when your father suggested it might be helpful for you
to speak with someone like me, it is connected to the fact that, later
in life, he experienced how valuable it can be to talk to someone
about the experiences we carry with us. Not necessarily because it
must be a therapist—but because we often do not actually have
those conversations unless we actively seek them out.
I do not know whether you and I will end up talking or not, but I
thought you deserved to hear what your father shared. And if at
some point you would like to talk with me, then let us see if we can
find a time that works.
Best regards,
Martin Nevers
From Patience to Invitation
I am always quite excited to meet people in conversation. This excitement might
lead me to want too much from a conversation. I like that I have the ambition to
make the conversation worthwhile, but sometimes it can get in the way of giving
space to the person I talk to. I remember many years ago talking with Art Fisher1,
who was a great inspiration to me in exploring and expanding my narrative
framework. Art said that often, when talking to men who had committed violent
acts against their family members, he needed to have patience—patience for the
person to show up, as I remember he put it. He was not talking about showing up
in a physical sense, but showing up with all their longings, desires, broken hearts,
1
Art Fisher, narrative therapist from Canada, has been visiting DISPUK a number of times some years back, sharing
his work and thoughts on narrative practice.
Invitations: Shortcuts to a Relational Narrative Practice
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, October 2026 Special Release, p. 5-22
www.journalcnt.com
