Journal October 2026 Special DISPUK Release_Full Version - Flipbook - Page 7
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The conversation made me want to write to you, so that you could
also hear some of what your father shared. Just to be clear, I should
start by saying that although the conversation began with your
father9s concerns about you and his wish that you might speak with
me, the conversation was about him—not about you. Your mother
was there today as well, but she was not in the same group as Andy,
so for now it is only his words I can pass on .
One of the things Andy said was that he wondered whether his
worries might mainly be based on his own history, because he
recognizes so much of himself in you. He told me that he did not do
very well in school himself and often felt very different, as he grew up
in Jutland in a kind of hippie lifestyle that was very different from that
of his classmates. He also shared that for a period he was bullied
quite severely, until he discovered that violence was a way to make
the bullying stop.
He explained that those experiences have stayed with him like a kind
of self-surveillance camera that is always watching to see whether he
is good enough or whether he fits in. And this camera has a special
function—it only looks for mistakes.
Andy said that this camera has often caused him to distance himself
from social situations and, at times in his life, not to strive for what he
really wanted, because it can feel safer not to try than to risk failing.
When he looks back on his life, he is actually quite satisfied with what
he has achieved and the life he has built with you and your mom,
even though there are things he wishes he could have been without
experiencing. At the same time, he is concerned about whether you
are truly doing well, and more than anything he wants to be sure that
he has done what he can to help you navigate a youth that he partly
recognizes from his own life, yet which is also completely different
from his.
Invitations: Shortcuts to a Relational Narrative Practice
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, October 2026 Special Release, p. 5-22
www.journalcnt.com
