Journal October 2026 Special DISPUK Release_Full Version - Flipbook - Page 11
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ask: How can we begin building a relationship with clients even before we meet
them in therapy?
Learning from Children
At a conference in Liverpool, I heard David Denborough, with a reference to
Michael White, thank the many children who had contributed richly to the
development of narrative practice. Without them, he said, the work of Michael
White, David Epston, and others would have evolved differently.
I find that to be true in my own practice as well. I think it is fair to say this about
all the people I have talked to in my practice. It wouldn9t be what it is today
without them. But often the children and adolescents I meet in my practice have
not produced the idea themselves that therapy might be helpful. Often it is a
parent, a teacher, or a professional who contacts me and who has decided on
their behalf that seeking counseling or therapy would be helpful or needed.
From these children and adolescents, I have learned that shyness, fear, doubt,
and mistrust often accompany their arrival in therapy (this may very well be the
case for others as well). For many of them, this makes perfect sense. They have
had bad or unhelpful experiences with adults trying to help them. Those
experiences have shaped stories of therapy as ineffective, unpleasant, or even
humiliating. Who would not want to avoid that?
So, in developing written invitations in my practice, the children and adolescents
have played a big role. In my effort to give them a voice and a say in what might
be helpful, their (rightful) reluctance helped me to take better care of not just
what but also how I invite people. And written invitations have two important
advantages over the oral invitation:
One being that the words don9t disappear. People have a chance to revisit the
invitation if it could be relevant to read or hear the words again.
And the other is that they don9t have to be in a relationship while reading the
invite. They can reflect on the invitation without being part of a physical relational
Invitations: Shortcuts to a Relational Narrative Practice
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, October 2026 Special Release, p. 5-22
www.journalcnt.com
