Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 95
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believed in their unique potential. Nonetheless, the more I practiced, the more I
noticed the awkwardness. Eventually, I came to see that the awkwardness was
not a problem to be solved; rather, it was an essential part of the process.
It turned out that Quentin had long been concealing many painful stories that had
quietly shaped his experiences, strained his relationships, and cast uncertainty
over his future. When we were both trying to avoid the awkwardness, we were
unknowingly turning away from the very doorway to discovery. It was within
these stories of pain that we found something close to magic. Many stories were
told and retold, but it was the story of losing a best friend for which the
awkwardness proved most valuable, guiding us gently toward what needed to be
felt and said.
I learned that, while in high school, one of Quentin’s closest friends had been
diagnosed with terminal cancer. He shared how he set aside his own pain and
grief to focus on creating meaningful memories during their final times together.
Socialized to be tough, Quentin was no stranger to suppressing his feelings. He
admitted that this period of his life made him even more adept at turning
emotional concealment into a default coping mechanism. The day we talked
about the loss of his friend, Quentin and I did not just invite awkwardness into the
room; we pulled up a chair and gave it a central role in the conversation.
That very awkwardness, which we allowed to lead rather than linger, became a
pivotal force in shaping what I now call Time-Traveling Internalized Other
questions. The following transcript illustrates how awkwardness made space for
me, as the therapist, to introduce these questions and engage Quentin in a
process that allowed him to revisit and reimagine a meaningful relationship in his
life:
Transcript excerpt
Mauricio: Quentin, I wonder if you would be willing to engage with me in a
conversation about you and Steven in a pretty different way, perhaps might
seem a little bit weird or strange… I have done this exercise with other
people in therapy and have been told how useful these sorts of strange
conversations can be…
In the Company of Awkwardness: Counterstorying Toughness in Therapy
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 88 -106.
www.journalnft.com
