Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 59
57
On May 14th, after she had recovered, we resumed our sessions. From the very
beginning, she talked about her father with pride and joy. So, I suggested that she
do the internalised-other conversation. I called this experience a “make-believe
game” in which she would be ‘Seu Gabriel’, and I would talk to him. She agreed,
and we began. I do not have a record of the questions. I took some notes of the
answers that reached my heart, and these are the guidelines for my account of
that conversation.
I began by asking her to remember her father: his voice, his look, his scent, his
way of walking and talking. Then I told Ayla that I did not want to be disrespectful
to her father. So, I asked her to guide me on how he would like to be addressed
and how I should refer to him. We agreed that I would call him ‘Seu Gabriel’ and
that I could address him in an informal way. Once he had already met me, he
would not feel disrespected by that.
I always start the conversation right after this agreement, to establish the
distinction between the person and the internalised-other. So, I said: “Seu
Gabriel, shall we begin our conversation? It’s been a while since I last saw you –
how are you?” The intention, at this moment, is to create a relaxed, playful
atmosphere so the person can feel at ease. I tend to ask questions whose answers
I already know – and the person is aware of that. That is my way of building a
scaffold from what is already known and familiar towards what is yet to be
known.
To that end, I asked questions that focused on family relationships, as I knew it
was an important theme for him. I also wandered around his thoughts on how his
sons and daughter were managing his absence. Then, I moved on to another level
of questions, and we talked about Ayla, and we spoke about how he perceived
the care she was providing for Dona Luzia. As we went along, I could see she was
increasingly connected with the internalised-other: her body posture, the way she
spoke, a different way of looking at me. At that moment, I knew I was in
conversation with Ayla’s Gabriel. Then, I started asking more subjective questions,
such as: “Seu Gabriel, what do you admire in Ayla?”, “What have you long
admired in your daughter?”, “What has always caught your attention?”, “Has she
always been like that, or is it something that she has refined over the course of
her life?”. I also asked what tips he might offer his daughter now that he had the
opportunity to see life in perspective – or at least from another perspective.
Narractivating Conversations with the Internalised-Other: A Therapy with a Little Bit of Fairy Dust.
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 45-65.
www.journalnft.com
