Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 55
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answer fascinated me: “When the conversation began, I realized it would be
something special. Something I would have to listen to carefully and keep in a
special place in my mind. A place that even if I get old and have Alzheimer’s, it will
be there forever... “
The next session began with Sílvia still enchanted with the conversation with her
grandfather. She mentioned the importance of realizing how much he admired
and was proud of her doings and her being. This shows the importance of
internalised-other conversations in thickening the alternative story.
She also mentioned that her grandfather probably didn’t manage to explain how
to solve the relationship issue because he, too, never found answers for that
question in his own marriage. Nevertheless, she could feel, during the
conversation, that he was proud of her for trying to live a better life.
Sílvia’s account
“I was with my grandfather during this pandemic. We hadn’t seen each other for
about 35 years. I had always missed him, but I didn’t know where to find him. He
always understood me. He was the one who explained the ways of the world to
me, from politics to poetry. He was the one who looked at everything I did and
said: It’s beautiful!
On my birthdays, he would pick flowers — himself — and decorate my house so
I’d wake up to see it all adorned. On the mornings, when visiting us, he’d say to
me: good morning, flower! It’s been so long since I last saw you! 10
He was the one I really needed to talk to, but I didn’t know it. I never imagined
how deep that longing was, and how much he still had to teach me.
Adriana Muller gave me this opportunity. In a narrative therapy session, she asked
whether we could invite my grandfather to share what he made of everything I
was living through.
I was ending my second marriage, an intense 16-year relationship. I was
shattered, devastated. I had been disrespected in every sphere of my life: family,
10
That’s a special poetical greeting, quite common in Brasil.
Narractivating Conversations with the Internalised-Other: A Therapy with a Little Bit of Fairy Dust.
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 45-65.
www.journalnft.com
