Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 43
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Joanna slowly recognized that the lies she believed about herself were embedded
in the social and political contexts of her life. The dominant cultural narratives
that kept SS alive were patriarchy and the beauty myth. It was fueled by
perfectionism and the insistence that whatever she did, she had to fulfill the
societal standards of perfectionism. She was never allowed a mistake; a mistake
could cost her life.
Joanna describes what changed for her:
So, what has changed? Who has changed? Let’s wind the story forward 25 years.
“They said I would never, ever be able to hold a real job… in line with my
intellectual and creative potential. They wanted to lock me up long-term….
They predicted that my marriage would never work out; and that my
children would be so damaged that they would succumb to mental illness
as well. They thought there was no hope for me, after all, I have been
blacklisted at psychiatric clinics for violent behaviour; the police had to
come and remove me. I thought I would never be able to hide the
multitude of cutting scars on my hands and arms, which would mean that I
can’t work in a job face-to-face with clients. SS specifically convinced me to
cut my hands so that I would never, ever be able to hide this. Yes, I do have
a real job which is in line with my talents and sometimes I meet clients
face-to face, although I work only four days a week as a deliberate self-care
move.
I am a technical writer, and I do suffer with anxiety and panic when I have a
writing deadline at work. This is normal: just about everybody gets stressed
by writing deadlines. I am working on solutions which include yoga
breathing, exercises and becoming more technically able as a writer.”
Conclusion
This apprenticeship turned me from a fledgling student into a narrative therapist.
I learnt that no problem is too big to be changed by narrative approaches. David’s
letters were gifts, seeking the smallest alternative to the biggest, bloodied
problem. He lived the hope and showed us how to do hope. He taught us to
breathe and not panic, act and not shy away, and rest and retreat when needed. I
An Apprenticeship in Extremis
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 5-44.
www.journalnft.com
