Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 27
25
professing to be your best friend and confidante. Some friend, hey? I am so
sorry you must go through this.
Joanna: AND my eating behaviour is slightly buggered: I now have this repeating
pattern of bingeing at night about once a week... only after taking a
sleeping tablet. This is the only time I do not have full command of my
choices, and SS seizes the opportunity.
Jo:
I am hardly surprised that SS would step in and take advantage of you in
this fragile state, Joanna. You and I have discovered that it flourishes
whenever you are not in command of your choices, haven’t we? What
plans can you and Pieter put in place to put SS in its place and still ensure
that you have a good night’s sleep?
Joanna: Initially, I did not get too upset about this and decided that it was no good
to be perfectionistic about eating perfectly right. But now it is clear that SS
is using this to erode my strength. It upsets and seems to scare Pieter,
which alienates me even more from him. Panic and lies: "You are already a
Self-Destructing, bad person. Can just as well give up totally to selfdestruction and eating disorder... bad person... deserve to suffer, etc.?"
Jo:
Joanna, this is the immorality and meanness of SS that you and I became
aware of, now clearly exposed in your letter. With an enduring love like
yours, there is no space for SS to try and alienate you from Pieter. With all
the strength that you can muster, Joanna, what might you choose?
Joanna: So, I am choosing now to take a lot of time out from work and other
responsibilities for a few days, to:
• Rest and relax and recover.
• And to identify "the problems" and find solutions.
• And to identify the SS lies (that tell me “You are the problem") -- and
replace them with the truth.
• Take stock of how things are going... which changes I can make to
facilitate healing and keep my strength up.
An Apprenticeship in Extremis
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 5-44.
www.journalnft.com
