Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 14
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referred to him as Skipper. In true Afrikaans tradition, there were different sets of
rules for family members: Skipper, as the head of the household, was the boss,
and he ruled it as his kingdom. His wife and children had different rules to live by.
They had to behave, excel at school, and go to church on Sundays. Although
Joanna achieved excellent grades, she never felt the As were good enough for her
parents, even though her report card earned her a measure of praise,
acknowledgement, and their love.
Joanna’s mom was extremely unhappy in her marriage and sought solace in a
clandestine relationship, to which Joanna was a silent witness. Joanna was sworn
to secrecy about her mother’s male visitor and knew she held the family secret in
her hands. Her mother told her that Joanna was her reason for living, because
Joanna was her confidante and pride. “Without Joanna, I would kill myself”, her
mother apparently repeatedly said. Joanna knew that she was responsible for
keeping her mother alive and understood that it was her role to keep peace in her
family as their carrier of secrets.
By sixteen, Joanna had had enough. Morally outraged by her father’s verbal
abuse, the secrets in her family, and the family’s double standards, Joanna
stopped eating. Joanna felt the weight of the secrets she was guarding and
sweeping all unpleasantness and anger under the proverbial carpet. She simply
couldn’t stomach food anymore. Joanna became emaciated, which resulted in her
first admission of many subsequent admissions to a psychiatric unit. This marked
the start of her documented history of mental health conditions. By the time we
met, Joanna had amassed a hefty variety of diagnoses and medications, including
a diagnosis of temporal lobe epilepsy.
Joanna and Pieter
Johnna and Pieter met at university and fell madly in love. Before long, Joanna
discovered that she was pregnant, and despite medical warnings related to
Joanna’s mental health, the two young people decided to get married and have
their baby. Pieter’s job demanded that he travel widely, while Joanna, as the
parent who stayed at home, was responsible for the care of the home and
children. Joanna and Pieter have always enjoyed an enduring love for one
another. One sensed this only after a very brief period in their company.
An Apprenticeship in Extremis
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 5-44.
www.journalnft.com
