Journal December 2025 Release - Flipbook - Page 103
101
Quentin as Steven: He would know exactly what I meant.
At this point in the conversation, it became clear that Quentin’s model of
toughness had been reinforced within the culture of athletes and “jocks,” where
emotional restraint and stoicism were expected. Further exploration of
expectations like "getting big" and "manning up," for example, may reveal
important insights into how they have influenced him. Just as important would be
helping Quentin see that emotional expression in therapy—allowing himself to
feel and be seen—could represent a new kind of strength or toughness. Steven’s
voice and perspective might help anchor this emerging counterstory.
Awkwardness creating possibilities
When asked to reflect on the Internalized Other conversation above, Quentin
described it as “wonderful and horrible,” a phrase that I thought summed it up
well. The awkwardness coexisted with the prospect of transformation. While
initially uncomfortable and obtrusive, the awkwardness soon enough became a
helper, guiding and carrying both of us as the conversation unfolded. As we
leaned into that space, I could feel layers of shame, anxiety, and pain beginning to
peel away. This was not a process that belonged to Quentin alone; we
experienced it together.
There was something extraordinary in watching Quentin recognize himself in new
ways, seeing himself and what he stood for in life reflected back through the
imagined voice of a beloved friend no longer living. That moment carried a kind of
quiet magic. The Internalized Other conversation presented above was
profoundly transformative. Yet transformation, I realized, is never contained
within a single exchange; it requires ongoing practice and repeated engagement.
The awkwardness, as I experienced it, would continue to make this possible. It
opened space not only for more Internalized Other conversations, but also for
many other practices that would shape our therapeutic relationship and the
trajectory of Quentin’s becoming.
Quentin was able to continue setting aside some of the masks he had long hidden
behind and to allow different aspects of his humanity to come forward—to be
In the Company of Awkwardness: Counterstorying Toughness in Therapy
Journal of Contemporary Narrative Therapy, December 2025 Release, p. 88 -106.
www.journalnft.com
